Teen Forced into Marriage Shares Journey from Trauma to Hope

At just 15 years old, Rubie found herself thrust into a horrific reality after being forced to marry a man twice her age. This traumatic event unfolded when her family took her from Wales to Bangladesh, intending to arrange a marriage that would comply with local laws allowing minors to wed with parental consent. Rubie’s father was determined to see her married, a decision that would have devastating consequences for her life.

From Normalcy to Nightmare

Rubie grew up in a large family by the seaside, enjoying what many would consider a normal childhood. She had seven siblings and a sheltered upbringing, heavily influenced by her family’s strict religious beliefs. As she entered her teenage years, Rubie began to yearn for freedom, secretly dating boys with her older sister. However, when her sister’s choices brought shame to the family, Rubie became acutely aware of the control her family exerted over her life.

During a visit to her parents’ homeland, Rubie discovered that her family had arranged her marriage to a man in his thirties. “My mum beckoned me over and pointed to a strange man. She told me that was the man I was going to marry,” Rubie recalled. At that moment, she felt a profound sense of disbelief and denial, which only deepened when she later saw their marriage certificate and realized her husband’s true age.

A Life of Abuse

The days leading up to the wedding were filled with confusion and fear. Once married, Rubie was subjected to daily sexual abuse and became pregnant by the age of 16. Her family subsequently made the decision to return her to Wales, leaving her husband behind in India. Faced with her reality and the trauma she endured, Rubie felt utterly helpless and attempted to take her own life. A pivotal moment came during her first ultrasound when she heard her baby’s heartbeat, prompting her to choose to continue living for her child.

In October 2000, she gave birth to her daughter, but her struggles did not end there. Despite attempts to escape her situation, Rubie’s family tracked her down, forcing her back into a life of control and abuse. It was only later that she found the courage to seek help after encountering a school friend, who assisted her in contacting the police. Despite facing challenges due to limited awareness surrounding honor-based abuse, Rubie managed to leave her family’s house with her daughter and a small bag of belongings.

Breaking Free and Finding Purpose

Rubie’s journey continued to be fraught with difficulties. She soon found herself in another abusive relationship, where she had another child in 2002. It took five years for her to secure a restraining order and finally break free from that cycle of violence. In a candid interview, Rubie expressed her determination to reclaim her life, saying, “I went right back to what the eight-year-old me had wanted to do and achieve before any of this had happened.”

Now, at 42, Rubie dedicates her life to helping others who have experienced similar traumas. She serves as an ambassador for the Sundial Centre, where she raises awareness about forced marriage and honor-based abuse. “I need other survivors to realize that there is hope and help out there; you just have to reach out for it,” she stated.

Rubie’s story is a powerful testament to resilience and the importance of support systems for survivors of abuse. Her journey from a forced marriage to becoming an advocate for change underscores the urgent need for greater awareness and education surrounding these critical issues.