Sara Mearns’ Dance Journey: Overcoming Hearing Loss and Depression

Sara Mearns, principal ballerina of the New York City Ballet, recently opened up about her struggles with hearing loss and depression, revealing how these challenges shaped her journey as an artist. After a decade of gradual hearing loss and a significant mental health crisis in 2021, Mearns is now embracing her identity both as a woman and an artist, finding strength in vulnerability.

A Passion for Dance from an Early Age

Born in South Carolina, Mearns began her dance journey at just three years old. Initially resistant, she soon fell deeply in love with the art form, describing it as a space where “nothing else exists.” As a teenager, she attended summer sessions at the School of American Ballet in New York City, where she fought to secure a place in the school’s year-round program. Despite not being initially invited to stay, Mearns’s determination led her to plead her case, emphasizing that returning home would mean the end of her dance aspirations. Her tenacity paid off, as she was offered a spot with a partial scholarship.

After years of proving herself in various ballet studios, Mearns joined the New York City Ballet as an apprentice in 2003. By 2008, she achieved the rank of principal dancer, just five years after joining the company, marking a significant milestone in her career.

Facing Challenges and Finding Clarity

While her career flourished, Mearns faced an unexpected challenge in 2014 during a rehearsal in Brazil. Following exposure to loud music, she experienced temporary hearing loss, which her doctor downplayed at the time. As the COVID-19 pandemic unfolded, Mearns began to recognize the true extent of her hearing difficulties. The use of masks made communication increasingly challenging, and she found herself struggling to hear conversations and music.

Mearns described the pandemic as a turning point that led to a decline in her mental health. Feeling as if she was losing valuable years in her prime, she transformed her second bedroom into a dance studio, determined to stay active. Nevertheless, she faced intense pressure to prove herself, particularly as younger dancers entered the company. This pressure culminated in a mental health crisis, prompting her to take a hiatus from dance and seek professional help.

Reflecting on her struggles, Mearns acknowledged the dual nature of the pressure she felt. As an artist, she had to expose her emotions in performances, yet she realized that she had been holding back on stage. “I was only half there,” she said, recognizing the need to fully embrace her identity as a dancer.

A New Beginning with Hearing Aids

In 2024, Mearns took a significant step towards reclaiming her life by getting fitted for hearing aids. The impact was immediate and profound. As she walked through New York City, she experienced sounds she hadn’t heard in years, from birds to the wind. This newfound clarity brought tears to her eyes, as she realized her life could be filled with sound and connection once more.

“You don’t have to live in that darkness, in that solitude, in that lonely place you’ve been in for the past 10 years,” Mearns reflected, acknowledging the transformative power of her hearing aids.

When Mearns returned to the stage as the Sugar Plum Fairy in “The Nutcracker,” her experience was dramatically different. She could hear the orchestra, the footsteps of her fellow dancers, and even conversations happening backstage. “I remember thinking, ‘Wait a minute. I haven’t been hearing this for 10 years,'” she said, recognizing that this marked the beginning of a new chapter in her life.

As she embarks on her second season of “The Nutcracker,” Mearns has experienced a remarkable transformation. She feels more open and less self-conscious in the studio, embracing her emotions and the fullness of her experiences. “I feel like I have this superpower,” she said, expressing newfound confidence and clarity in her artistry.

Sara Mearns’s journey serves as an inspiring reminder of resilience and the importance of addressing mental health and physical challenges. Through her struggles, she has discovered a deeper connection to both herself and her craft, paving the way for a future filled with promise and creativity.